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  • Writer's pictureJosh Reading

Twenty MORE questions to ask before you say "I LOVE YOU" Part 2

Twenty MORE questions If you are up to this set of questions we hope that the initial questions have at least made you consider this relationship to have the potential to lead to marriage. Now don’t rush ahead, we didn’t say that if you made it this far marriage is the goal, merely it may be worth stepping up the journey. If you have not asked the initial questions please start there. Remember good foundations are crucial to building anything long lasting. Remember, all relationships need some level of discipleship. As you take the journey we encourage you to be open with each other and find at least one influential married couple as role models in your life. Everyone is often willing to give you advice, people that have actually thrived in that place are the ones you need to listen to. We all need a bouncing board to gain clarity. We are not talking about some form of pre-marital counselling, merely ‘counsel’ as you consider some of the answers and questions that arise in the journey. If marriage is to reflect Christ and his Church, then any relationship with marriage potential need make us MORE LIKE CHRIST, NOT LESS. Ps. The above is a key indicator of whether this relationship is good for you. Does it motivate you to be more or less like Christ?


1. Imagine you were to give yourself advice for the next five years, what would it be?

2. What do you believe about a woman’s/ man’s role in life, career, marriage, parenting? What informs this?

3. What does the ideal father / mother look like? What informs this?

4. Do you believe that you should stick with a marriage even if you are unhappy all the time?

5. Who has influenced you as a disciple? Why are they such an influence?

6. If you were to name your best day out what would it look like?

7. How do you handle conflict? Do you think of yourself as a rhino (you charge into it) or a hedge hog (dig in and avoid conflict) or maybe more a combination?

8. If we fight / or have a serious disagreement what is the best way to approach you to reconcile?

9. What social / political issues matter to you?

10. If you were given 50 thousand dollars, what would you do with it? Why would you do that?

11. How do you handle finance? Would you call yourself a spender who a saver? Why do you save? Why do you spend?

12. What does your budget look like? What influences the way you spend / save?

13. What is the name of a good friend I can chat to about you? What do you imagine they might say?

14. Is your faith growing, stagnant or somewhere in between? Why do you think this is the case?

15. What personality traits and characteristics did you most dislike about your previous ‘boyfriend’ / ‘girlfriend’? (if you have never had a ‘boyfriend’ / ‘girlfriend’ this can be asked in regard to other close relationships).

16. Do you have any theological passions / positions that are important to you but are not part of what makes one a Christian? (ie. Jesus as Lord and Saviour – Romans 10) If I object to your particular theological position, how deeply does this matter to you?

17. What are three cultural traits / values that may be different between our families? Heritage?

18. If you had a problem that you felt you could not talk to me about, who would you talk to?

19. What kind of relationships do you think are appropriate with the opposite sex? (outside of marriage partner

/immediate family)

20. What attracts you to me? What are your doubts about our relationship?

Continue or cease - Should we continue to explore this relationship?

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